The lovely, thorough, and ASTOUNDING story PART 4

I cannot tell you in it's entirety what was said between Mr. Duggar and my Josh and I after he walked back over to us from the intercom phone and we were waiting for Mrs. Duggar. I think it was only about one or two minutes as we waited. Unfortunately, the only thing I DO remember is making a dern fool of myself as I tried to make small talk about the 2 month trip they just got back from.

Teri: So...you visited D.C., huh? That must have been fun!

Mr. Duggar: Yeah. The kids really enjoyed it. It was a great learning opportunity.

Teri: Although...you're no stranger to DC, right? I mean, you must have been there a lot when you were in politics. (Teri's Translation: I am your BIGGEST fan and remembering all these details about your life. Aren't you impressed with my Duggar skeels, Mr. Duggar?)

Mr. Duggar: Ummm...actually, because I was a state representative I worked pretty close to home here in Little Rock. I never left the state. I worked on writing legislature just for the state of Arkansas. (Teri's Duggar translation: You poor girl. Where did you attend school? It's too bad that you weren't 20 years younger or so, or you could have been part of our homeschool and we would have taught you the difference between national, state, and local governments.)

Whatever conversation took place after that was an embarrassed blur. No need to fret long, though, because as I glanced down the hall to my left I saw her approaching.

I.
Could.
Not.
Believe.
My.
Eyes.
THERE SHE WAS!!
IN THE FLESH!!

She was an angel in blue, approaching us with a gracious smile. "There she is!" Mr. Duggar said. I took it all in. She was gracefully sporting a conservative, yet feminine button down collared shirt in a lovely shade that made her even bluer eyes sparkle. Her slimming black skirt grounded the sensible ensemble. A surprising sea shell necklace in teal and white adorned her neck and beautifully brought the look together. Her crown of long, shiny brown curls cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. She was nicely tanned. As she got closer I could hear in the soundtrack to this moment wisping around in my subconscious. "Why do birds suddenly appear.....Every time, you are near?.."
"Hello!" She said.

"Mama these are some people that have stopped by to meet us," Mr. Duggar said, and then I don't remember anything about him after this. I think he went to sit on a couch and join the conversation with his friends until we took the picture and left. No matter. I was fixated on HER. The friendliness and care and kindness just emanated from her being. She was simply stunning in so many ways. And I hate to sound like a broken record, but TV cameras just don't do her justice!!! She was sooo pretty. Josh even went as far to say after we left, "A knockout!" Seriously.

"I'm Michelle," she said as she extended her hand and a smiled generously.

We introduced ourselves, thanked them so much for allowing us to come and meet them, explained we were driving through the area and we didn't want to miss the opportunity...blah, blah, blah.

I told her my testimony. And she listened so intently. Made me feel like I was the most important person there. I told her about how I am just in awe of her mothering skills. About what a blessing she is to me as I watch her parent her children with kindness and grace. And how she is the epitome of a gentle and quiet spirit. She interrupted.

"Ohhh...that is so sweet of you to say that, but please! It's not me! It's the Lord working in me! God has given me such grace to be able to raise our children. It's Him that deserves the credit," she insisted.

Please don't be too disappointed, but we talked for probably 8-10 minutes and things get kind of blurry in my mind's eye as I try to recollect the exact exchange of conversation. I will tell you the highlights that I remember, though.

I told her that one of the ways she's affected me was that there was one episode when her eldest son, Josh (the one we had just met earlier at the car lot) gave his testimony about being parented by her. That she was always kind and patient. Never raised her voice and never got angry or lost her temper in any way. I told her that I always remember that when I'm in the heat of the moment with my boys and wondered how she does it?

"Ohh...I'm sure that Josh feels like he's telling the truth from what he remembers about me back when he was little, but it's not all true. He just doesn't remember. I used to yell at the kids. I used to lose my temper with them."

I stared at her wide-eyed, "Really?"

"Oh yes!! It was hard!! I had lots of little ones running around all at once and things got really tough. There were days that I didn't think I was going to make it and I would yell at the children. I was be so grieved over it. The Lord really convicted me. I remember exactly where I was reading the Word at the dining room table. There was a verse He used to break my heart over this: A soft answer turns away wrath."

I took a breath. "We've been teaching Hunter that same verse from his little ABC verse book!! Proverbs 15:21???" (It was actually Proverbs 15:1)

She nodded. "I remember after reading that verse I said at the dining room table and the Lord just really broke my heart and I was so convicted. I remember praying and asking the Lord for grace. It wasn't too long after that when a situation came up with one of the kids and I wanted to yell. But instead, I remembered that verse and the Holy Spirit allowed me to whisper instead of yell. I'll never forget that moment. The Lord really changed me after that and I've been able to continue to parent that way. I never raise my voice with the children. I still use a stern voice when I need to, but I never yell anymore."

NOW! Now do you all see why I love this woman sooo much??? How can you not be in awe of the Lord and His work and the way that this great Godly woman responded to it???

I continued the conversation by telling her we were having a lot of trouble with Nathanael as we traveled in the car. We were doing everything we could to meet his needs and stop and rest and make him comfortable and yet he was whining and crying and carrying on and it was driving us NUTS! We'd pretty much just diagnosed him as the wild child and figured that there was nothing we could do about it but hang on for the ride. I asked if she had any advice regarding traveling with little ones.

She said that the way they avoid travel troubles with the little ones now is by traveling at night in their bus where the kids can all sleep. But before that she said that she would set aside some special books that were just for travel to keep the kids entertained. For those of you who don't know, the Duggars limit their kid's television and computer use. On the rare occasion that they do show them a DVD it's usually an educational program about the Bible or a very wholesome family movie with clear cut Christian values. This explains why her cherubs are happily entertained with a special book.
sigh.
Don't you just LOVE that?

At some point in our conversation a woman walked in the front door behind us without knocking and made some cheery remark about them finally being home (or something). I don't remember for sure. Mrs. Duggar looked over at her friend, smiled and said, "Hi Diane!!" (I think that was her name)
(Teri's Duggar translation: This beautiful building is a home, not a house. Friends and family alike feel genuinely welcome here and there are no airs put on over having to have a perfectly clean house in order to have people over. The Duggars see the awesome provision that God has given them in this beautiful, debt-free home as an opportunity to minister to others and demonstrate God's love. And THAT is why they opened the door when they saw my husband knocking and allowed his crazy wife inside.)

There is one more nugget of wisdom from the conversation with Mrs. Duggar that I remember clearly. When I mentioned our trouble with Nathanael, she talked to me about correcting and training little ones. She said that they have learned over the years that they MUST be consistent and correct their children after the first time they disobey. She used the example of her little one, Jennifer, who will be two in August. She said that if Jennifer is across the room and she is called to come over, but says "NO!" or demonstrates with her body language that she has no intention of obeying, Mrs. Duggar immediately corrects her, uses a stern voice, and says, "Now let's try this again." She puts Jennifer back where she was and Mrs. Duggar goes back to where she was standing when she first called her and calls her again. Because of the nature of the correction (if you know what I mean), Jennifer comes right away this time. Mrs. Duggar speaks for her saying, "Yes ma'am. I'm coming ma'am." And she said that even though Jennifer may have her pacifier in her mouth you can still hear her mumbling what Mrs. Duggar is telling her to say.

We then spent some time talking about what age is appropriate to start correcting children and how to go about it, etc. I will not go into detail about this conversation because I do not want to open up any criticism upon the Duggar family from some ignorant, liberal idiot who is looking for a reason to publicly crucify them. They follow what God's word says about correcting. 'Nuf said.

After we were done talking they took a picture with us. I can't tell you exactly who took the picture, except that it wasn't a Duggar child. I think it was one of their adult friends who was at the house. There were sooo many people there. Lots of laughter and smiles.
The first one turned out blurry, but the second one was pretty good. Johannah and Jennifer were both in the first one, but Jennifer toddled off and is missing from the second one.

I told her about how much more pretty she was in person. That while I'd always known that she was a pretty woman from the show, the cameras just did not do her justice!

"Oh my goodness, no!!! Thank you, but I'm all sunburned and red! It's been so hot and we were outside with the kids yesterday in the backyard sprinklers! I didn't realize I was getting sunburned!!"

(Teri's Duggar translation: Not only do I parent my children with godly love and diligence, but I know how to have fun with them too!!)

We thanked them again for their graciousness and told them how much it meant to us to meet them. They walked us to the front door and that was it. We passed through the sea of boys still skateboarding and riding their scooters on the front porch, loaded up the kids, and began our drive up and out of the driveway.

I lost it. I burst into tears. I told Josh I could NOT believe that the Lord allowed me to meet them. What a gift it was!!!

"You got your wish, honey! You met the Duggars!" Josh said.

I bawled my head off and stopped just long enough to get out of the van on the road in front of their house and take one last picture of Hunter and I in front of their house.
Looking back now there's so much more I wish I would have thought to ask. Like, how she maintains a romantic love for her husband and makes him feel so cherished and respected. And so much more on the practicalities of mothering. What would YOU have asked her?

There is so much to be said for how this has affected me after meeting the Duggars. The Lord has totally used this experience to get my attention and transform my attitude towards my husband and children. Of course, it's important to READ THE WORD and allow the Lord to speak to you personally through it and convict you in areas that need convicting in order to make you more into His likeness. And every Christian needs to do that! But, the God of the Universe knows me better than I know myself and knew this Duggar encounter would be a catalyst of spiritual change in my heart and mind. Meeting someone with flesh and bones who so humbly and gracefully reflects God's glory and obedience to His Word is a profound thing. I am a changed woman. Seriously. And Josh is a changed man too. After reading their book and putting the principals that Mrs. Duggar told us about into practice the past 4 days of parenting our children have been a delight! It's been great!! I'll post more details about it soon!

Thanks for sharing in my journey with me! For an AWESOME, easy-to-read look at the Duggar family order their book here. It's chocked full of wisdom, humor, and the low-down on how their family began with Jim Bob and Michelle's first meeting and how they've progressed to a godly family of 20!!

You can also watch their show on TLC Tuesday nights at 9pm ET and on Discovery Health Thursday nights at 9pm ET.

Blessings, everyone!!